When things are nothing like you pictured

Remember when you thought that by 30 you'd have your shit together?

I had always pictured that by the time I turned 30...
I'd be married...
Maybe have 1 kid...
Have a big important job with a corner office that paid really well & had an expense account...
Own a 3 bedroom house right outside the city that looked like a Pottery Barn catalog...
Regularly take amazing trips (a few weeks in Italy, long ski weekends in Colorado, stuff like that).

My life at 30 was pretty much the opposite.
I was twice divorced & single...
Bartending at a place that made me miserable to make enough to get by...
Renting a 2 bedroom apartment the landlord kept promising to update every time they raised the rent...
The only trips I was taking was going home for Christmas once a year, if that.

I was no where close to what I had pictured and nothing I was doing to change things was working.

I was STUCK.
Do you know that feeling?

You know what you set out to get, but you can't figure out how to get there. 

The life I pictured for myself had very little to do with me. It was based on what you should want. The things you should have.

That's why the travel (something the real me wanted) was a lot more detailed than the rest of my plan. 

I wanted to be married, because I liked the idea of having someone, but I put no thought into what I wanted that relationship to look like or the kind of person I wanted to be with. 

Now I know my deal breakers. I know what's important to me. I don't settle for relationships where I have to change everything about me. 

I wanted an important job that paid well, but I couldn't even tell you what field that job would be in. 
Now I help women create success & create their version of success by being them & I'm paid well because I rock at what I do.

I thought I'd own a 3 bedroom house outside the city. Didn't have a specific city or style of house. I  still want the house. I can see everything about it, but the where is yet to be determined. West coast maybe.  I want to be near trees & water, but close enough to go do fun things in the city. It will have an office. A big kitchen. Lots of windows. An open floor plan. And when I walk in I'll feel "ahhhh. This is HOME". 

Look at the things you want. How detailed are they? Can you feel what it'll be like to have them?
If you can't see it or feel it. If the thought of it doesn't invoke some massive emotion. You have to ask yourself if this is something you want or just something you think you should want.

​